yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
