whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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