Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize