Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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