Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
