somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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