Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
