great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
