Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
