im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize