I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize