My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
