is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
So much Jack, so little girl.
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