Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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