I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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