ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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