the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
