I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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