Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
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