We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Don't judge me 👊🼠his dick just whispers my name
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
