I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
