He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
