I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
