This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
