those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
