I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
