Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
