Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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