i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
