covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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