Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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