i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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