Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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