he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
