Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
im having a threesome with these popsicles
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
two words: eviction party
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
