David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize