If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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