I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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