i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
