nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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