I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
