WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
its liver damage thursday
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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