dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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