is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm too high and old for this...
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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