That dog was the best thing i ever touched
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
