told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
