apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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