i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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