I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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