I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
