dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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