Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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