omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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