new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
