i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
