Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
