Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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