if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
