There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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