Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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