how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize