So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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