12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
