i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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