yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
