just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize