It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
