U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
